1. Review and follow the procedure for your state.
2. Take an Ancestry DNA test and then transfer your DNA to the free sites (see DNA resources here)
3. Register on sites such as
4. Search out and join state specific adoptee groups on social media.
5. Read, watch films, and connect with other adoptees to prepare yourself for reunion.
6. Ask for help from a search angel or hire a confidential intermediary.
G's Adoption Registry,
Adoption Registry,
and International Soundex.
Birthright: The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive Parents
Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA
It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption
Reunions in Spring: Meditations for a Holiday Table
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
The Foundling: The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me
We recommend Ancestry DNA if you are trying to solve unknown parentage.
If you are primarily seeking health information, then 23andMe would be advisable.
Men may also want to take a Y-DNA test through Family Tree DNA, which can sometimes connect you to your biological surname.
No matter which testing company you use, be sure to "fish in all the ponds" by uploading your DNA to the free sites:
- GEDMatch
- MyHeritage
- FTDNA
- LivingDNA
20 Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, Second Edition
Adapted Podcast
Adoptee Reading
Adoptee Restoration
Adoptee Film Channel
Adoptees Come of Age: Living within Two Families
Adoptees On
Adoption Advocacy Podcast
Adoptionfind Blog
Adoption Nation
After the Truth
Akin to the Truth
Before We Were Yours
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
Beyond Adoption: You
Black Anthology: Adult Adoptees Claim Their Space
Blank
Calcutta is My Mother
Closure
Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up
Confessions of an Adoptee
Dan Rather Presents: Unwanted in America
Dear Adoption
Father Unknown
Growing Up Black in White
How Does it Feel to be Adopted?
I am Adopted
Jigsaw Queensland - Adopt Perspective podcast
June in April
Lavender Luz
LGC - Lost Gentlemen's Club (MEN ONLY Support Group)
Lion
Lost Daughters
Male Adoptee/Alumni Impact Summit
Nancy Verrier
No Apologies for Being Me
Open Secret
Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth
Philomena
Pushing on a Rope
Second Choice: Growing Up Adopted
Secret Sons & Daughters
Secrets & Lies
Sincerely
Six Word Adoption Memoir Project
Tapioca Fire
Thank God I Was Adopted: 'Cause DNA is No Joke!
The Adopted Life
The Adoptee Next Door
The Adoptee Survival Guide
The Adopted Ones Blog
The Declassified Adoptee
The Good Adoptee
The Goodbye Baby; Adoptee Diaries
The Family of Adoption
The Fifth and Final Name
The Lies That Bind: An Adoptee's Journey Through Rejection, Redirection, DNA, and Discovery
The Lost Child
The Other Mother: A Moment of Truth
Three Identical Strangers
Who Am I Really
You Don't Look Adopted
You Don't Know How Lucky You Are: An Adoptee's Journey Through the American Adoption Experience
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness
Relinquishment Trauma: The Forgotten Trauma
Genetic Sexual Attraction Explained for Adoption Reunion Relationships
Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Information Network (ATTWIN)
Adoption Memoirs: Inside Stories
Adoptee Rights Campaign
Adoptees for Justice
Daniel Drennan ElAwar
Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee
Harlow's Monkey
High Cheekbones and Straight Black Hair?
KAAN
Once They Hear My Name: Korean Adoptees and Their Journey Toward Identity
Red Table Talk with Angela Tucker
Red Thread Broken
Side by Side
The Colours of Us
The Harris Narratives: An Introspective Study of a Transracial Adoptee
The Life We Were Given: Operation Babylift, International Adoption, and the Children of War in Vietnam
The Lost Daughters
The Rambler
Surviving Adoption
Yes I'm Adopted. Don't Make It Weird
Adoptees of South America
KAtCH: Korean Adoptees of Chicago
Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Information Network (ATTWIN)
Adoptee LGBTQIA+ Support Group
Loggerheads
Not Your Orphan
Other: The Unheard Voices of QPOC Adoptees
Amara
Foster Club
Removed
Supporting LGBTQ Youth in Foster Care
Encompass Adoptees
North American Council on Adoptable Children
1. As the result of adopting another's child
DVD Series: Adoptive Parent Training
Encompass Adoptees
National Center on Adoption and Permanency
Sherrie Eldridge
The Honestly Adoption Company
Kinship Caregiver Virtual Support Group
Center for Adoption Support and Education
Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition NY
Adoptive Parents Committee
Are you an adoptive/foster parent seeking resources and information on the lifelong journey of adoption?
Perhaps you are in need of recommended books for your child?
meet frankie! your guide here at the kids corner
Created by the National Association of Adoptees and Parents Frankie and his Friends will help the youngest of adopted children and their parents navigate through the feelings often experienced but difficult to verbalize. The narrator is a lovable character who warmly validates what an adopted child may be feeling and provides parents a springboard for dialogue and understanding.
Frankie and Friends Talk Adoption can be purchased on Amazon. Watch for his future books!
Have a question for Frankie? Email us at frankieandfriends@naapunited.com.
“Frankie and Friends is a much-needed book for young adoptees. As an adoptive mother and psychotherapist, I know that children are curious, especially about themselves. They have feelings they often don’t understand and yet wonder about. This book gives children an explanation as to what some of those feelings are about as well as permission to have them and to ask questions about them. This is very important to both the adopted child and his or her adoptive parents. It allows them to have a connection that is impossible if the questions are kept inside the child without any acknowledgment or acceptance. I have had so many adult adoptees say that they had never felt as if they could ask their parents about these feelings, so they always felt all alone in their sadness and loss. This book is a way of bringing light into those dark places and enhancing connections between parents and child.”
Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao
Leslie Pate Mackinnon, LCSW
Nancy Verrier, MFT
Pam Greenstone, MA, LPC
Rhonda Churchill, LPC
Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT, RPT-S
Kathy Harlow, LMT
Astrid Castro
Ron Nydam, PHD
Moses Farrow, LMFT
Pamela Cordano, MFT
Brooke Randolph, LMHC
Marie Dolfi, LCSW
Jeanette Yoffe LMFT
1. The natural father or mother of a child who has been adopted
1. Review and follow the procedure for your state.
2. Take an Ancestry DNA test and then transfer your DNA to the free sites.
3. Register on sites such as
4. Search out and join state specific adoptee groups on social media.
5. Read, watch films, and connect with other birthparents to prepare yourself for reunion.
6. On social media, use your name as it was on the adoption paperwork. Create a custom web address for your social media accounts (i.e. facebook.com/FirstMaidenLast)
G's Adoption Registry,
Adoption Registry,
and International Soundex.
Birthright: The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive Parents
Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA
It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption
Reunions in Spring: Meditations for a Holiday Table
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
The Foundling: The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me
It is difficult to find an adoptee. In general, laws will not give you access to the adoptees' identity.
7. Hire a searcher or confidential intermediary.
A Girl Like Her
Adoption & Birthmothers - Musings of the Lame
All in the Family of Adoption
Birth Fathers and their Adoption Experiences
Birthmark
Birth Mothers First Mother Forum
Born with Teeth: A Memoir
Butterbox Babies
Concerned United Birthparents (CUB)
Eileen Drennen
Good Girls Don't
Hole in My Heart
I'll Always Carry You
Stolen Babies
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
The Other Mother
The Magdalene Sisters
The Shoebox Effect
Through the Eyes of an Adopted Kid
American Baby, Gabrielle Glazer
Adoptees Connect
Adoptee Rights Australia - ARA Inc.
Adoption Search Resource Connection (ASRC)
Family Preservation Project
Adoptee Rights Coalition
Adoption Knowledge Affiliates
Adoption Network Cleveland
Saving Our Sister (SOS)
Celia Center
Concerned United Birthparents
KAAN
Right to Know
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Paragraph
Right to Know
Suzanne Bachner, Playwright
Alison Larkin, Comedian and Author
Heather Gonzalas King, Artist
Debra Baker, Writer & Filmmaker
Kristen Garaffo, Actor, Singer & Writer
Shannon Peck, Concept Visual Art
Megan Dey-Toth, Singer
Mary Gauthier, Singer-Songwriter
Zara Phillips, Author, Director, Singer
Pekitta Tynes, Comedian
Bob Brader, Actor, Writer & Monologist
Brian Stanton, Playwright & Actor